on grief.

It's been 3 days and yet it's still hard not to think about it. I remember vividly the call that Leon made to me on Sunday night; and suddenly I too had to take up the unpleasurable position to spread the bad news. It's not a good feeling, not when one of your better friends suddenly left the world, not when the cause of passing is self-induced.

I perhaps will never, and ever, know why would he do such a thing. Everybody can say about deaths like it's an easy thing, but when you're there looking at your expressionless friend; then recall the days when he was smiling and laughing, its an extremely harrowing and humbling experience. What's worst was that you never imagined he would just do it; or even think of doing it, and the failure of myself for not being there when he needed it most. It's a painful thought but it's a lesson learnt.

Time cannot undo certain things. I pray for the grieving hearts of the family and friends, and hope that others will not make the same rash decision as he would. Farewell my friend. Your smile will always be in our memories.

Lost the war.

Satan's won the war,
We have lost the battle we meant to fight.
Society's going the downward spiral,
Abortions and suicides are on the rise.

Where are the values we learnt in school
Who is the morally upright man?
He is but scorned and made fun of today.

Selfishness is the driving force of our lives
Self satisfaction, at the expense of others, is all that matters.
Wrong has been made right in our eyes
And sin, what's that?

What's unacceptable years ago;
Today's as common as can be.
Is this truly a free society;
Does freedom have to result in this?
With the lack of social graces and of decent morality?
We have already lost what's won,
Unless we choose to stand.

Amazing Grace

Amazing Grace; How sweet the sound!
That saved a wretch like me!
I once was lost; but now am found
Was blind but now I see.

T'was grace that taught my heart to fear
And grace my fears relieved
How precious did that grace appear
The hour I first believed!

Grace. The sweetest thing on earth. And what would I do without grace? Nothing but a life of hopelessness and despair, of little fruition or satisfaction. I never can understand life without grace; without forgiveness and hope. There's always a lack of something without the amazing grace. It is beyond human explanation, I simply cannot tell you how much it means to me. It is just as such. May you experience it too. :)

Easter.

an empty grave, the women weep
the fine young men; clothed in light
smiled and said; 'He's arisen!'
the birds sing, the children's laughter emit!

Good Friday.

the people of the earth, gather with one voice
the sound of the young, screams hear me from the noise
Lost, Confused; Distressed, Abused
my people are lost, they know not what to do

THE STARS IN THE NIGHT SHINE BRIGHT
FOR OUT OF BETHLEHEM COMES LIGHT
AND TO US, A CHILD IS BORN
TO SAVE US ALL FROM SCORN

they blog, they party, they drink it all away
anything and everything, that gives em identity
come and party, have sex and be merry
keep quiet I can't, cos they're drifting away surely

A LIL BOY WAVES HIS BRANCH OF PALM, HE KNOWS HE'S WORTHY
SHOUTS OF 'HOSANNA', HERE COMES THE DONKEY
HIS MOTHER HAD SAID, THE MESSIAH'S COMING
SEE HIM HE MUST; PRAISE THE ONE WHO'S HOLY

suddenly the world's gone insane
suicidal youths; drugs and shame
divorce, abortions, forni-cation
new age movements, hopes for a change

HE TOOK THE BREAD, BROKE IT TO TWO
SAID THIS IS MY BODY, BROKEN FOR YOU
'I HAVE TO GO, MY PEOPLE ARE DYING'
TO BREAK THE CURSE OF SIN, TO STOP THE CRYING

we put our trust in the material to begin
wealth and status, it's the name of the game
but when markets crash, and beauty fades
the house of sand, never seems to stand

THEY DROVE THE NAIL, RIGHT INTO HIS HANDS
THE KING OF JEWS, A FRAIL LITTLE LAMB
THE DROP OF BLOOD, THAT FELL FROM THE WOOD
NOW THE BLIND COULD SEE, THE LAME HAD STOOD

I cried, I asked, I couldn't understand
now He's blood, it's on my hands
to tell a generation there's hope from within
go live your life now; soley for him

Questions.

Lord I don't know what my hands will do;
I don't know where to go,
I don't know if I did it right;
I don't know how hard I've tried.

So much things I'd wish I do,
So much more to go;
Yet now I'm here at this place,
Lord won't you tell me what to do?

My heart is set on one sure thing;
to please your heart O God,
But I'll pray today, that you'll not let go;
Lest I slip away.


But I'm tired Lord, exhausted.
I'm hungry Lord, I yearn for more.
And I'm disgruntled Lord, I'm unhappy;
Cos I know you died for more.

Sometimes I wish I had accompany;
Somebody to pull you along,
But somehow my heart's call;
Seem different from them all.

I don't know if I'm right or wrong,
I wished I knew if I was;
But I'll look up now and here,
I'm sure He knows it all.

He knows it when the sun goes down,
He knows its hard to shine;
and He knows the heart of yours within,
Cos He created mine.

No Point.

They say I don't have to be silly;
Values and Morals, they count not today.

Life can be really easy;
Just live and enjoy; and party it away.
But only the foolish chooses to believe,
And then forgets the one; who came to relief

For all the pain in the world;
For all the shame collected on Earth,
Nailed to the Cross of dried ol' wood
Finally the lame stood.

Remember the pain that He went through,
Now the battles's yours to follow thru'
I rather be silly and live it hard,
Then to see his blood made naught.

A Cry of the Heart.

Where are those who cried at night;
Where are those who says it ain't right?
Where are those who'll stand on thorns,
Where are those who the Lord has his eyes upon?

Am I a follower of the norm,
Am I somebody who does the wrong?
Simply because it isn't frowned upon?
Have my standards been off the mark
Is my compromise neglecting my form?

Lord help me when I'm less than bright,
To be a salt in a world not right.

back to writing.

I haven't written anything online since giving up blogging many many years ago. Yes I do have many things interesting about my life to share and laugh about, but it was a personal choice; I didn't want to let any of my comments cause uneasiness or unhappiness to the readers. That aside, I created this blog with the blessings of one my bestest friends, the nice guy of the council of three( the only nice one perhaps!)

Anyway this blog is created to reflect some of my thoughts and poetry literally written down on scraps of paper during my days serving the country in National Service, where I had the opportunity to ponder much on my life and all.

These entries are made from my personal point of view and thus have Christian influences in it; that having said if you do not accept what is being said then you may not wish to carry on reading. May these be a blessing to whoever reads it.