on grief.

It's been 3 days and yet it's still hard not to think about it. I remember vividly the call that Leon made to me on Sunday night; and suddenly I too had to take up the unpleasurable position to spread the bad news. It's not a good feeling, not when one of your better friends suddenly left the world, not when the cause of passing is self-induced.

I perhaps will never, and ever, know why would he do such a thing. Everybody can say about deaths like it's an easy thing, but when you're there looking at your expressionless friend; then recall the days when he was smiling and laughing, its an extremely harrowing and humbling experience. What's worst was that you never imagined he would just do it; or even think of doing it, and the failure of myself for not being there when he needed it most. It's a painful thought but it's a lesson learnt.

Time cannot undo certain things. I pray for the grieving hearts of the family and friends, and hope that others will not make the same rash decision as he would. Farewell my friend. Your smile will always be in our memories.